So you're a medic?

What makes people think they are EMS experts?
I routinely arrive at a call and begin getting directions from family members, firefighters, and bystanders. And it's usually nonsense. What the hell did you call me for if you all know so god damned much?
I like to think I am quite competent. I have been doing this job for over twenty years. I don’t need some firefighter to come running over and show me how to buckle a stretcher strap. I needed the help carrying granny’s 400-pound fat ass down the stairs. Where were you? Making sure the truck didn’t roll away? Telling the family how you wouldn't be there when the budget cuts roll around?
I walk up to a door and the family tells me, “You need to bring the chair.” I do? Why do I need a stair chair for a nosebleed? A coworker was recently reprimanded because the family didn’t like how a patient was moved. What the hell? Who made them the masters of loads, lifts and carries? Do they have any training at all? NO!
Still, people insist on telling me where to park the ambulance so I don’t hinder traffic, or block a visiting nurse’s escape. Did anyone bother to think I have to carry someone a block now to get to the ambulance?
Carrying them past the fire engine, past the police cruiser, past the concerned passerby’s cars. I tell you what; here’s my coat. The keys are in the truck. I’ll go get a coffee and when you’re done come get me. Since you’re such an expert. Better yet, go tell the police officer how to direct traffic, tell the firefighter where the hose needs to go, go tell the mailman where to send the mail. That’s absurd, right? You have no idea how to do their jobs. Guess what John Q. Public? You don’t know how to do mine either. So step back, shut up, and stay out of my way. If I want help I’ll ask for it.